Weird Al Yankovic - The Rye And The Kaiser Lyrics

Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.

But he's no bum, he works down the street
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say,

Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're on special tonight.
If you want, you can have an appetizer
You might like our silami and the liver's alright
And they really go well with the rye or the kaiser

Never eats while on the job,
He heard it's good to stay hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob
Have a taste, they were made fresh today

Try the rye or the kaiser
Or the wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
But you just can't go wrong with the rye or the kaiser

So today, his deli comes first
Steady dreams of his past days of glory
Goes to the back and beats on the liverwurst
All the while you can still hear him say,

It's the rye or the kaiser
It's the thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I won't put up a fight.
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.

The rye or the kaiser..... (repeat)