Zach Snyder - Bargaining Lyrics

Look man, I'm just trying to get a little bit of a discount
Can you work with me?

No, you can't get a discount on rent
Look, I have this coupon, will you please take it?
This is coupon for a free meal at Golden Carol, I'm not taking it
Come on man, I'm desperate
Well, be desperate and go find more money, I'm done with this conversation

You heard the man, I gotta go and find some money
I'll be a homeless man, if I don't get up and hurry
Self-employment obviously isn't working
So we're starting with the government official offices
Let's go job hunting
Unemployment can't be drawn
Cause my last taxed job was a bag boy in a grocery store
That was four years ago, I worked in college, but
That doesn't count
Maybe my teachers were on to something
When they said I wouldn't amount
To nothing

I'm puttin in all of the job applications
Turns out a lot of them want me to have a college education
And sure I went to college, but I'm a dropout
Vause I thought life on YouTube would be the big payout

Maybe I should drop some money on some Bitcoin
I hear the returns are super high, if you invest at the right time
And nope. I just lost my last 300 dollars
Time to sell some shit on Craigslist, my books, my consoles

I still don't have enough to make ends meat
So I'll have to figure this one out unconventionally
Lemme get some foodstamps to tie me over
Cause a growing boy still gotta eat

To the bank I go, time to make a deposit,
Get my playboy magazines, straight out of da closet
Sign the papers, wait a bit, this should be easy
But apparently not, I have no college degree
What the hell, are you serious, you gotta be kidding me
To jerk one out for some money
I gotta have a degree
This is bullshit, I always thought when I was old enough
I'd have the chance to make some dough from the nuts that I bust

Man, forget that, I guess I'm done here
What if I sold on organ, like a kidney, or an ear
Nope, it's illegal in the United States
Cause selling body parts for cash is like you're Norman Bates

But you know what else I could sell?
My blood platelets in a blood bank, well
I thought I could, cause I've absolutely done it before
But I haven't drunk enough water, so they shoved me out the door

I don't know what other choices I have at this point
I guess I'm gonna be homeless and move to Detroit
At least there, I could have an easy access to blunts
Make more in a week than I made in the past 6 months

But that's kinda unrealistic
I don't have a car and plane tickets are too expensive
It's time to take the ultimate risk
To the shit that's easy, I need that money quick
Let's go to my back up plan of my back up plan
And head to the app Grinder to meet a rich man
And shit dude, I'm not gay
But I have no other choice, so get out the way
I need a sugar daddy to pay off my bills
Give me an allowance, with enough money to kill
I'm going crazy, I'm going financially insane
That's what happens, with no money to your name
All I see is numbers, I'm too far in the red
I'm gone too far now, I can't pay my overhead
This adulting shit is way too overhyped
I need to see a doctor, cause my heartbeat just spiked