Zach Snyder - My Middle School Bully Lyrics

You ever heard of unconventional love?
Sometimes things get a little wacky and you're not quite prepared for it
Well here's that story

7th grade, I was in math class
Doing some derivatives of Susie's little ass crack
The teacher called, asking for my answers
Turns out she wants me to get up show my work with candor

Oh f*ck, this'll be a problem, my pants are tight
From thinking bout what Susie and I could do at her house tonight

So as you could imagine, everything was over
My entire class had now just seen my boner

I heard the laughs, my face was red, I'm sad now
It's not my fault, I can't help it, I'm mad now
But what could I do, but sit back in my chair
And wait until the day was over, and sit in despair

The next day, I'm in the cafe, eatin my lunch
Susie comes over, laughs in my face, then gives me a punch
Everything is backwards, I'm confused, bruised and not amused
But there's not a single, motherf*ckin thing that I could do

Math class again, I catch myself thinkin of her
You know the girl that just hit me, she
Wait of second
Susie was the reason I got the boner in the first place
And then I had to get up
And then she started picking on me
Holy shit - I think I love My Middle School Bully

Right after school, I go up to Susie, inhale, exhale
She looks right at me, says what do you want I hope I don't fail
The other day in math class, when I got attacked
I had that boner, cause baby you a snack

Her face got red, she was flustered didn't know what to say
She started laughing, I'm the like f*ck are you serious, I'm like actually trying
To form a relationship here
That's when She points to my pants
It done happened again, she then punches my arm
I kinda liked that, I say - yo do it again

So we snuck to the locker room, that's right your boy got it in
And to this very day, Susie and I are closer than kin
It doesn't mean that I don't get picked on from time to time
In fact, when we're in the bedroom, I let her hit me as much as she wants
What can I see, we all learn something new about ourselves in middle school