[CLAUDIA, spoken]
So much for trying someplace new
[MARIANNE, spoken]
What is happening to decent restaurants?
[LEO]
If it isn't the food, it's the service
[FRITZ, spoken]
Didn't you hear?
[RAFFAEL]
If it isn't the noise, it's the queue
[FRITZ, spoken]
Are you insane?
[PAUL]
Or the backs of the chairs
[LEO]
Or a waiter with airs
[CLAUDIA]
Or the long flight of stairs
To the loo
[MARIANNE]
There's always something...
[RAFFAEL, spoken, sotto voce to FRITZ]
You know, you're hot when you're angry
[FRITZ, spoken]
Forget it, Raffi
I've been gay since I was three
[A cell phone rings. They reach for their phones.]
[PAUL, LEO, CLAUDIA & MARIANNE, spoken]
Ah, it's my assistant Is that mine? Is it me?
[FRITZ, spoken]
It's me, it's me, don't worry
[MARIANNE, spoken]
A boyfriend, I hope!
[FRITZ, spoken]
Do you mind?
[MARIANNE, spoken]
"PRADA" calling?
Sweetheart, you told me you're anti-fashion!
[FRITZ, spoken]
Anti-fascist
Anti-fascist
[RAFFAEL]
Did you know thеre's an extremist group of Lеfties in Moranda
Who call themselveswould you believe it?PRADA
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Apocalypse here
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
They communicate only in code
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Yes, Inferno
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
Their leader is known only as "Inferno"
[MARIANNE, spoken]
And they're named after a shoe?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
No, PRADA stands for "People's"
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Fifty million?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
"Revolutionary"
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
By tonight?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
"Anti-Domination"
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Why?
[LEO, spoken]
"Assholes"
[PAUL, spoken]
"Assholes," really?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
"Army"
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
I know, I know, we can't delay the revolution...
[MARIANNE, spoken]
Are they dangerous?
[LEO, spoken]
You ever meet an asshole who wasn't?
[PAUL, spoken]
Hey, I'm an asshole
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
Yeah, but sweetie, you're not dangerous
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Well, I do know a few rich assholes
But they're not gonna hand over fifty million
[RAFFAEL, spoken, sotto voce to CLAUDIA]
I have to have you
Now
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
How do you want me?
[RAFFAEL]
The way I had you last Tuesday...
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
I love that way
[RAFFAEL]
I miss you every day
[CLAUDIA]
Say it, say it!
[RAFFAEL]
Every day
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Okay, okay, okay
[RAFFAEL]
In my heart
In my mind
In my bed
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
More
[RAFFAEL]
I miss the way you always give me
Comfort, courage, head...
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
Bite me
[RAFFAEL]
Oh, Claudia
I but murmur your name
[RAFFAEL's cellphone rings.]
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
Excuse me
[FRITZ, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
I'll do my best, Inferno
[RAFFAEL, spoken, sotto voce into phone]
Hello, Abdul
[FRITZ, spoken, into phone]
Nada but PRADA!
[To the others.]
Anybody want to donate fifty million bucks for a noble cause?
[LEO, spoken]
What's the cause?
[FRITZ, spoken]
The coming revolution
[MARIANNE, spoken]
Oh, Fritzie, you are so cute!
[LEO]
What if it's the end of the world?
Hey, folks
Maybe it's the end of the world
[FRITZ, spoken]
Yeah, laugh
[RAFFAEL]
Maybe it's the end of the world
Indeed
[MARIANNE]
In that case
Buy this day for us, sweetheart
Buy this perfect day
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
Agreed
[CLAUDIA]
End the world, okay
But this day
Let it stay!
[PAUL]
And as they say
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
Paul
[PAUL]
La vidida ay estada el tidada! Olé
La vidida ay estada el tidada!
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
He needs food
[PAUL]
La vidida ay estada el tidada!
Right, Raffi?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
Ordinarily, yes, life is a tit
Today, however...
[PAUL, spoken]
What?
[LEO, spoken]
Yeah, "however" what?
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
That was Abdul
[PAUL, spoken]
Is it the diplomatic pouch?
Did the Feds find the coke?
[FRITZ, spoken]
The coke? I love it
[RAFFAEL, spoken]
The pumpkins, yes
[RAFFAEL]
It seems the locusts have descended on the pumpkins
[PAUL, spoken]
Oh my God
[RAFFAEL]
We have to feed them lots of semolina
[PAUL, spoken]
Jesus Christ!
[LEO]
There's a ton of semolina in the silo
So relax
[RAFFAEL, spoken, offering cocaine from his pocket watch]
The pumpkin itself, however, is perfect
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
Did he say locusts have descended on the pumpkins?
What does that mean?
[MARIANNE, spoken]
It's poetry
Almost
And voilà, here's Bistro à La Mode!
[LEO, spoken]
Everybody out of the car!
[FRITZ, spoken, into her phone]
Hello, Inferno?
That fifty mil is in the bag